I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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