i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
