who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
