Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
