My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is the high leading the old right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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