I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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