i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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