So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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