yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
