I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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