Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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