I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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