His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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