Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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