After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So squirting runs in the family.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
