Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
