That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
