we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
