i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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