oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
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Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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