I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?