I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?