508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
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If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
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Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.