jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
