I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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