9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
