so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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