Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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