i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
