rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
