I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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