He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
