dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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