I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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