so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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