the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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