she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
