bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
