she was so not down for the gang bang
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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