the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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