Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize