If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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