if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
