Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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