You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
