just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
