you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
