Well apparently he's into motor boating.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
