well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
