I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
