So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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