I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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