just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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