the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings