Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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(970): View more from Colorado

If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.

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(425): View more from Washington

well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

Fair enough

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