Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
