Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
