wrigley field is MILF paradise
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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