R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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