Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We don't watch enough power rangers
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
