is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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