That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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