And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
