Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
