so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
