Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
