This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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