Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
