i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
