No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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